


Okay - Kaname Date

by somniumbrainrot



Category: AI: The Somnium Files (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, Epilogue, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Canon, ftm date squared (or cubed? falco unspecified), i just needed to resolve annihilation end dammit you cant just leave them all sad, mizuki says the fuck word, pewter says epic and uses discord, possibly ooc (headcanon heavy at least), post-annihilation end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24820918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somniumbrainrot/pseuds/somniumbrainrot
Summary: An epilogue for annihilation end. Date, in Shizue's body, starts his physical transition and reminisces about the events that led him there as he tells the people in his life.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	Okay - Kaname Date

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic probably ever please no kill

When Kaname Date came home from the GIC, six months after the New Cyclops Serial Killings, he only told four people.

The first person he told was Mama. It was so straightforward – just a single text as he got into his car.

Date: Hey, I just got back from the gic. I’ll be starting T in november.

He didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

Mama: proud of you! Xxx :*

He smiled when the notification came up, trying to share Mama’s positivity, but he wasn’t sure that she fully understood the significance of the date. November, one year after he lost so many people in his life. One year since Shizue was murdered… Shizue Kuranushi, a name he’d only heard at the quiet funeral he and Futa had held for her. One year since her killer had worn her face - Date’s face, now - and murdered Hitomi Sagan.

Of course, Mama understood many aspects of Date’s situation all too well. She had known about his old body – the body that was never his, but that he missed so badly. He had got so used to its quirks – the brain disorder he had to manage, the hollowed out left eye socket where Aiba used to live, and the two long, thin scars across the chest. All of them stark, physical signs of a life he couldn’t remember but must have lived, before losing all his memories seven years ago. Every night as he fell asleep, he used to try to imagine what his body had gone through in that long period of darkness, not realising that those memories were never his to hold.

Now, he thought about Saito.

Mama was the only person who ever knew that Kaname Date was transgender, and he could never remember exactly when she found out. He probably let it slip one night while he was drunk off his face at Marble, but after that, there was an unspoken solidarity between them. Mama didn’t even make dirty jokes about it unless the two of them were alone. She may have been an informant, but she put her own community before anything else, and she had taken Date in as her own.

So, Date didn’t remember the first time he told Mama a secret, but the second time was much more dramatic. It was last December, almost an entire month after Boss’s death. Date had paced around Golden Yokocho for almost half an hour before finally steeling himself and throwing open the door to Marble. He had run inside, slammed both palms down on the bar counter, and looked at Mama with terrified eyes.

Date: I’m Kaname Date.

And once again, there were no questions, just acceptance. Date explained what had happened anyway, but it made no difference to Mama. She could tell that he was deadly serious, even if she didn’t understand how it was possible. To be honest, Date thought to himself as he stopped at a red light, for once it seemed like she didn’t really want to know.

Date considered giving Mama a call to talk more about the news, but he hesitated. Mama could relate to barely recognising her own appearance – of course she could. But she would never understand what it was like to look in the mirror, and see your dead friend’s face stare back at you.

It had taken Date so long to accept everything that happened that day. Everything he learned, everyone he had already lost, losing Hitomi… He had never put much time into his appearance, but he had started to take good care of his body after the Psync. His body was a temple to Shizue Kuranushi, a memorial, the last physical trace of her. For months, he couldn’t accept the fact that he would be in Boss’s body until he died, let alone bring himself to make it his own.

Now, Kaname Date looked a little more like himself. He was wearing a pair of skinny jeans from the women’s section, some combat boots clearly designed more for aesthetics than actual combat, and his old trench coat. It swamped him, but it was so comfy and familiar that he didn’t mind. It was May, and much too warm for coats, but sacrifices had to be made for the sake of fashion. Most noticeably, his hair was cropped to the length he used to wear it, and was tied up in the same half ponytail. He had thicker hair than his old body, and his fringe spiked out in all directions, but the style still looked pretty good on him.

Date pulled up to his apartment block, and changed his mind about calling Mama. He was terrified of transitioning, absolutely, but he knew he was ready. She would always be there to listen if he had any issues, but for now, he wanted to just act like it was no big deal, like he hadn’t put off thinking about his identity for nearly half a year now. He had finally done something big!

***

> Date residence

The second person he told was Mizuki. He would have told her first, but she was still at school when he got back to the apartment, and he wanted to tell her in person.

Date had never said a word about his own feelings when he came home that first night without his keys, after the hospital had finished patching up his injuries. He had knocked three times and waited. When Mizuki finally opened the door after an agonising two minutes, she met his eyes – Boss’s eyes – with a hollow stare. Her eyes were an angry red, and her face and hair were wet with cold water, splashed over her face in front of the bathroom sink. Even after losing both her parents and her only two friends, she had still tried to hide the fact she’d been crying.

There weren’t going to be any more deaths. Mizuki was safe. Date held onto that, praying that she would be okay. It was hard to imagine an okay after this, for either of them.

Date: It’s over.

He let out the breath he’d been holding. His fists were clenched at his side, and his shoulders were tensed tight. Mizuki recognised those nervous tics – she had seen Date try to hide them on the first night she spent at his apartment.

Mizuki: ...Boss?

Mizuki’s voice cracked as she spoke. Date broke eye contact and slowly shook his head.

Date: She… she didn’t make it.

The flesh remains, but the mind is gone…

Mizuki threw her arms around Date, holding his aching new body tight in the doorway of their apartment as she started sobbing again, her head buried in Boss’s leather jacket. Date hugged her even tighter, and they cried and shook until finally, Date realised what they needed to do.

Date: Aiba, do you know how to make stew?

Mizuki was so alarmed that she almost forgot why they were crying. She started laughing uncontrollably.

Mizuki: Have you finally gone insane, old man?

Aiba: Of course I can make stew! Who do you think I am?

She was barely audible from inside Boss’s jacket pocket.

Mizuki: Oh, what the _FUCK_ -

Aiba rolled onto the floor of the hallway and started running towards the kitchen. Mizuki watched her tiny footsteps until she was out of sight, then turned to look straight at Date, tears still rolling down her cheeks, with a slightly unhinged smile on her face.

Mizuki: Date. Explain. Now.

Despite everything, Date started cracking up too.

Date: That’s my partner, Aiba.

Date: She’s going to make us stew. That alright?

And so the two of them had ended up wrapped in blankets on the sofa at 3am, with Mizuki’s head resting on Kaname Date’s non-injured shoulder, sipping hot chocolate while Aiba stirred a huge, steaming pot of stew on the stove. Date told her all the funny stories he could think of about their partnership, anything to avoid talking about what had happened that day. When the stew was finished, they ate in silence, marking another new beginning.

He didn’t have to mention his body once that night, Mizuki just quietly accepted it. Date would have liked to ignore the situation forever, but once he realised that none of his clothes would fit anymore, he had to beg Mizuki to teach him “girl stuff”. It became a tradition, and every Saturday she would try to teach him something new - painting each other’s nails, following makeup tutorials on the internet, and buying clothes to fit Shizue’s body, because he could never bring himself to go to her old house after what had happened there. Mizuki didn’t seem to know what she was doing much more than Date did, but maybe it was a distraction for her, because they always had fun until Iris’s name came up in the past tense. It always did.

Date knew that having a female body didn’t mean he was a woman, of course it didn’t, but the alternative of trying to be the old Kaname Date was terrifying. “Girl stuff” became more of an inside joke than anything else, and when Date finally decided that it wasn’t working, Mizuki agreed. She had listened to all his identity related angsting since the beginning, and when Date started to claw some of his old presentation back, it felt much more natural and right to both of them.

Mizuki had been the one to cut his hair, and even though it was a bit of a hack job, Date actually shed a tear when he saw his old hairstyle in the mirror. And she had understood a lot of terms and treatments that he brought up about his transition without needing an explanation – probably from reading about them on To-witter. Mizuki being more interested in girls than boys was so obvious to both of them that her coming out had gone completely unspoken, and he knew she had been reading up on the community. Date was very proud of his roommate.

*CRASH*

The unlocked door opened with a kick, breaking through Date’s thoughts.

Date: Jesus, Mizuki! I’ve told you not to do that, you’ll break the door!

Mizuki: How did it go?

Date: I’m starting T in November.

Mizuki: Woo!

Mizuki dived backwards over the sofa Date was sitting in, landing on it upside down, her legs draped over the top.

Mizuki: That sounds quick. That’s great!

Date: Yeah. Thanks, Mizuki.

Date: I never would have scheduled the appointment if you didn’t keep bullying me into it.

Mizuki: You’re welcome, old man. ShovelForge tonight to celebrate?

Date: That doesn’t even make any sense! YOU’RE the one who likes ShovelForge!

Mizuki: Ah, come on. You know you love it.

Date: UGHH, FINE. As long as you promise not to push me into lava again.

***

The third person who Date told, messaged him first. He got the Discord notification while he and Mizuki were playing ShovelForge that evening, sprawled across the sofa. Ah, ShovelForge. It had taken up a good proportion of his time at home, since he had nothing better to do and Mizuki... Well, she couldn’t play with her old friends anymore. Date pushed away the thought and picked up his phone.

comPewter: wuu2?

Futa Amanoma. They had become close ever since the incident, bonding over self-blame and shared loss. It was strange – Date had never been close to Futa before everything happened, but now it was rare that they wouldn’t be messaging each other at all hours of the day.

Date v2: Chilling with mizuki ;)

The winky emojis were an old habit, from when he only had one eye. If it was supposed to be ironic before, it was definitely ironic now that he had two.

Date’s icon was a little drawing of Aiba’s eyeball form that Mizuki had done, and Futa’s was Sailor Mercury.

Date v2: Hey, I have a T date now!

comPewter: oh?

Date v2: It’s sometime in november.

comPewter: sounds good! :^)

comPewter: stressful date tho

comPewter: heh

comPewter: Date

Date v2: Yeah…

Date v2: Ah, well.

comPewter: marble 2nite 2 celebrate?

Date v2: Tempting.

Date v2: I agreed to play shovelforge tho...

Date v2: Meet at 10?

comPewter: epic

comPewter: uve come a long way date

comPewter: never thought ud have huge tits n want to get rid of them

comPewter: but here we r

Date heard the tik, tik, tik sound of grevious bodily harm being dealt to him by a square zombie, and Mizuki punched his arm.

Mizuki: Stop texting your boyfriend!

Date: He’s not my boyfriend!

Mizuki: Yeah, _sure._

Date groaned. Why did he adopt her, again?

Date: Punk ass kid...

He had wondered about that himself, before. Other than Mama and Mizuki, Futa was really Date’s only friend. As he thought about this, for a second he considered adding Kagami to the list, but Date hadn’t been back to work since November, and they hadn’t talked since. God, maybe he should consider going back. That list of friends was a little bit sad.

Date: I’m going to Golden Yokocho tonight. You can put yourself to bed at 10, yeah?

Mizuki: How old do you think I am, old man?

***

When Date arrived, Futa was already there, elbows rested against the counter with a bottle of sake. He was still wearing his skintight grey bodysuit, but with a fleece lined denim jacket over the top instead of his lab coat. It almost could have passed for a fashionable turtleneck if it wasn’t so tight, but since it was, it looked like an alien had tried to guess how humans dress after crash-landing their spaceship into a triathlon. Date could see the silver watch on his left wrist glint under the mood lighting as he pulled nervously at his short grey hair.

Pewter: Date!

Date: Hey, how’s it going?

Date made more of an effort to lower his voice around Futa. He couldn’t bear the thought of reminding him too much of Shizue.

Pewter: Oh, I’m fine.

Pewter: I’m a little frazzled, though. We’re trying to roll out the Wadjet system across ABIS, and you remember how hard I worked on the original Aiba.

Futa sighed dramatically, pinching the bridge of his nose. Date could see dark circles under his eyes. Again, he felt a pang of guilt for avoiding ABIS even after all this time. It was a small branch of the MPD to start with, and losing two employees had put a lot of strain on Futa. He had taken over many of Boss’s previous duties, alongside his engineering work.

Pewter: Congratulations on your news, though!

Date: Yeah, it’s been a while coming.

Pewter: Well, true.

Pewter: You know... There’s still another way out of this.

He was talking about Saito, of course. It wouldn’t be easy to pull the necessary strings... but it was still a possibility. Date made a face.

Date: Futa, we’ve talked about this. I don’t want ABIS’s help.

Date: There aren’t enough expletives to express how much I never want to see him again.

Date: _Including_ his body.

Pewter: Alright then, Rohan.

Date: What?

Pewter: Well, you know that’s your real body, right?

Pewter: I don’t want to get your hopes up, but if ABIS can get our hands on him, I could just Psync the two of you...

Date’s shoulders instantly tensed up. Getting his real body back... His original body, from before the first incident seven years ago. He couldn’t say it wasn’t tempting. But...

Date: God, no.

Date: It’s not that I don’t think Rohan deserves to be kicked out of that body.

Date: Just the thought of him existing inside it makes me angry.

Date: It’s just...

Now it was Date’s turn to sigh.

Date: I don’t think I can do this again.

Futa ran a hand through his hair again. He couldn’t relate to how Date felt about his body, of course he couldn’t. He was trying his best to empathise, but this was so far outside the realm of normal that all he could do was listen.

Date: Every time I get shunted around, it’s like I lose a piece of myself.

Date: Who am I? What am I supposed to look like? Who do I _want_ to be?

Date screwed his eyes shut, then opened his right eye a crack to look at Futa lopsidedly. Another old habit.

Date: I can’t keep track anymore. I’m fed up.

Date: I want to make this body home.

Pewter: Well, fair enough.

Pewter: I don’t know if it would even get through either, it’s...

Pewter: Not exactly _ethical_.

Date: I appreciate the effort, man.

Date: Thanks.

Futa couldn’t understand Date’s dysphoria, but he had been shaken just as hard by what happened in November, if not harder. Date often wondered if he even fully realised how close Futa and Renju had been. Futa didn’t like to talk about it, but when he did, the pain was still fresh. They both felt Renju’s shadow there in Marble, the place all three of them had visited so many times before.

Futa and Date drank.

***

When Date told the last person, it was the next day - a warm Tuesday morning with a slight breeze. Another weekday, but as always, Date’s schedule was empty. He kept considering going back to work just to give himself something else to focus on, but he had grown used to spending so much time with Mizuki at home. Besides, too many bad memories, he thought, as he drove through Tokyo.

Aiba, in her eyeball form, spoke up from the car seat.

Aiba: Date, I have received a text message from Kagami.

Date may have bought himself a phone, but he still had Aiba connected to it. It was just so convenient.

Date: Kaniza? What does he want?

Aiba: I just said his name!

Aiba: He was asking when you’re coming back. Apparently, it’s boring at ABIS without you.

Date could finally feel his willpower wearing down. Maybe he _will_ go back into work soon. He decided to ask Mizuki what she thinks later.

Date: Aiba... Can I reply to him later? We’re almost there.

  
> Aoyama cemetery

It was 11am by the time Date arrived, and it was a beautiful day. The late morning sun shone through the surrounding trees, casting dappled light across the headstones. Even so, it was quiet on weekdays, so Date was alone. He followed the familiar path down to the one he was looking for - the memorial dedicated to Congressman So Sejima.  
  
Date knelt by the headstone and reached into his huge, formless coat. He pulled out a bottle of red wine.

Date: Hey, I got you something.

Date smiled weakly as he set it down next to the grave. Then he sat, cross legged, on the floor and started talking.

  
Date: I think I’m actually going to do it, you know.

Date: Transition, I mean.

Date: ...

Date: Yeah, I know, I used to say that I could never do anything to your body. The idea still bothers me, but...

Date: I can just hear your voice, sometimes, telling me to chill out.

Date: I know if you were here you’d want me to be happy, so I went to that clinic, and... I’m due to start T in November!

Date: That feels pretty symbolic, right? The one year anniversary of the New Cyclops Serial Killings. I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing.

  
Date reached out and grabbed the stone memorial with one hand, just to touch something, just to _do_ something. It didn’t really make sense as a gesture, but he felt uncomfortable just sitting still.

Date: Hey, anyway. I miss you, Boss.

Date: You always knew how to make me laugh when I needed it.

He screwed his eyes shut as a wave of emotion hit him, but no tears fell. Then he pulled a bottle opener out of another pocket in his huge coat, and cracked open the wine bottle. He raised the bottle up to So Sejima’s engraved name in a toast.

  
Date: This one’s to me, Boss. To me figuring all this shit out.

Date took a big swig, then wiped his mouth.

  
Date: Don’t worry, I’m not drinking and driving. The rest is for you.

  
He gently placed the offering back on the ground, then took a moment to look around and take in the cemetery. Cherry blossom season was just ending, and the path was covered with petals, pink and brown and in various stages of decay. Date felt the cool morning breeze against his new skin, not so new anymore.

Unknown: Parallel worlds exist!

Date still hoped it was true. He wanted to believe that somewhere, all the friends he had lost were still alive. But right here, right now…

He was okay.


End file.
